gym, for not only do butch lesbian have the appearance of men, but it seems they also have the brains of men. They, like any other man, want… no, need power. Beneath all the flannel and unshaven body parts the lesbians were hiding something. Something so crazy, so evil that it just might work. If it wasn’t for me, the lesbians would have all the beer hats and cargo shorts in the palm of their masculine hands. Below are the detailed plans of how the bastards almost took over the world.
Operation Tween Takeover:
• The lesbians sought to gain control of the world’s most powerful weapon: the tween.
• A predatory species that can devour anything in its path, the tween is a formidable foe.
• Driven by sheer obsession and consumerism they don’t appear to have any notable brainpower or, in fact, souls.
• Seeking to harness this power and use it for their own lesbian bidding the muff divers searched far and wide for the perfect twat bandit until they found Justine… Justine Bieber.
• Hot property on the butch lesbian market, 47 year old Justine was so far gone down the path to self-induced masculinity that her appearance was just ambiguous enough that she could pass for a 15 year teenage boy.
• When she stopped taking her testosterone pill’s her voice returned to a somewhat feminine state and she was ready to take the pop world by storm.
• After suppressing her tiny lesbian breasticles with duct tape taken from one of her lesbian friends many toolboxes and using make up to cover up her many butch tattoo’s she made her debut as Justin and quickly began forming a rabid tween army.
• However I spotted the many tell-tale signs and saw through her disguise.
• Soon the lesbians will be able to overthrow the world’s governments and get all the free sporting equipment, protein shakes, meatball sub’s, AC/DC CD’s and Caterpillar boots they want. No men’s department store will be safe!
Plan of Action:
To quell this imminent onslaught we must act quickly. We must take down all the butch lesbians before they dispatch their tween army. First we must expose Justine for who she actually is, which would totally compromise the tween army. She can be exposed by simply seducing her with a hot prostitute who will take photographs of Justine’s minge while they are getting down and dirty and release them to the press.
The butch lesbians must also be taken down to prevent another attempt at world domination. Luckily I have concocted a plan. If it any point of this plan’s execution you find yourself in a physical confrontation with a butch lesbian then you have three options.
1) Play dead, it may fool them!
2) Aim a punch at their oversized Adam’s apple. Its their weakest point.
3) Throw soap water at them. The legend says that they should melt upon contact with it.
The Plan:
We must first cut off their supply of testosterone tablets and close all women friendly gyms. This will weaken them significantly, exposing them to their much suppressed female emotions and hopefully causing them to menstruate again. We will then swoop in while they are weak and attack them with female hygiene products such as perfume, make up and hair spray which is like kryptonite to them. Makeovers complete, they will have lost their butch identities. Without their testosterone and excessive exercising their grossly abnormal muscle mass will have shrunk to nothing. They will no longer be able to partake in their daily routines such as Olympic Hammer Throwing, fixing their pick up trucks and puzzling the general public with their misleading dress sense. They will be broken and we will have won. Sure, we won’t be able to the endlessly enjoyable “Is that a man or a woman?” game anymore but it will be worth it
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